I'm always delighted when people stick their noses in my business - my company makes paper tissues. - zobacz
One day a blonde woman was down on her luck and she needed a quick way to get money. She saw some kids playing and thought "Hey! Maybe I can kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom!" So she creeps up and snatches one. So she began to write a note: "I have kidnaped your son and I will give him back if you put 10,000$ on the north side of the tree in the park. Signed Blonde." She sticks the note on the kid and sends him home. The next day she goes to the north side of the tree and in a paper bag was 10, 000$. But there was a note inside saying: "How could you do this to a fellow blonde!?!" - zobacz
If I had five coconuts and I gave you three, how many would I have left ? I don't know. Why not ? In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges. - zobacz
The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it." - zobacz
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. - zobacz
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ? He wanted to see the floor show ! - zobacz
A woman entered a psychiatrist's consulting room leadind a kangaroo."I'm worried about my husband, doctor, " she said. "He keeps thinking he's a kangaroo! " - zobacz
What sits in the middle of the world wide web ? A very, very big spider ! - zobacz
After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. "What's the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: "that man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home...I just want her to stay with you guys." - zobacz
How was the hamburger murdered? First it was 'rolled,' then smothered in onions - zobacz
The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety. "Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a medal. You risked your life to save the locations of our secret warehouses." "Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said whorehouses!" - zobacz
Where's the most dangerous place to go trick-or-treating? On the psycho path! - zobacz
How do you know if your little brother is turning into a fridge ? See if a little light come on whenever he opens his mouth ! - zobacz
What does it mean if you find a horse shoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks. - zobacz
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs! - zobacz